It recently occurred to me that I get stuck a lot. Tonight, I got stuck in a coat that I was trying on at the store. It wasn't a pretty sight. The zipper refused to move. There I was, in the middle of the sportwear aisle frantically trying to free myself from the coat's deathgrip. I handle situations like this with poise and calm. Or, at least I would like to pretend I do. In reality, I panic. Big time! I am not sure what comes over me. Illogical thoughts and feelings of terror take over. It is silly if you think about it. I don't get worked up over major issues that normal people would. I get worked up when I am stuck in a jacket at the local T.J. Maxx. Once I talked myself down from the my manic thoughts, I managed to escape the clutches of the evil garment. As I drove home, I started thinking about getting stuck.
The first time I realized that I do not use sound judgement in these moments occured just a few years ago. Dustin thought it would be hilarious to put an empty laundry basket over my head while I was doing the laundry. I am not referring to one of those shallow, rectangular laundry baskets. I am talking about one of those tall, skinny, deep laundry baskets made for families with some serious laundry issues. It pinned my arms to my sides. I was stuck in a laundry basket. I instantly went into panic mode which entailed crazed breathing followed by weeping. Why I didn't reason in my head that the situation was temporary and that I would live through it, I will never know. (and I think my reaction took Dustin by surprise...)
I have other stuck situations that come to mind. I had to have, not one but TWO, friends free me from a shirt I tried on in the dressing room at Kohl's. I guess that is my punishment for thinking I could squeeze into a shirt that was 2 sizes too small.
I also got stuck in my 1991 Toyota Camry once. The car would randomly decide that it didn't want the driver's side door to latch shut. On those days, I would have to hold the door shut with my right hand while steering with my left. Tired of driving like this, I had a brilliant idea. I would pull the door as hard as I could. When it felt like it was as close to really being shut as it could be, I would lock the door. So I tried it and it worked like a charm! When I arrived at my destination, I hit the unlock button waiting to hear that familiar unlocking sound. All I heard was the chirping of crickets. Here is where my illogical thinking started up: I seriously thought maybe I pressed the button wrong. So I pressed it again. and again. and again. Still nothing. That's right. I was locked inside the car. I panicked and hit the unlock button over and over and over again. I tried pressing the button ever so lightly. I tried pushing it as hard as humanly possible. I even tried different combinations of pushing such as three light pushes followed by one hard push. Nothing unlocked that door. It was becoming apparent that the jaws of life was the next step to freedom. Camry: 1 Steph: 0 Defeated, I finally just gave up and sat there. This is when logical thought started to flow again. I suddenly realized that the passenger door was unlocked. So I did what any person would do, I climbed over to the passenger side and got out like it was an everyday occurence. Did I mention I was 8 months pregnant? So imagine that scenario, if you dare.
As I thought about writing this, I began thinking about being stuck in life. I feel like that sometimes. That I am just stuck. The more I think I am stuck the more panicked I get. Many times I look at a situation I am in and think to myself, "I wish I could do this/have this/be this but I can't because I am stuck on this stage in life." I have this delusion that once I move beyond my current life stage that everything will be better or different or more exciting. Oftentimes, I panic and think "when will I move on? I have stuff to do in that next stage!" The funny thing is that I want to get to the next stage so badly but when I look back at past stages I long to be there again. Can I never just be content with where I am now? When I sat down to reason this out it makes perfect sense that I would look at life this way. Afterall, whenever I get stuck I panic and think irrationally. Once I talked myself out of my illogical thinking, I began to realize I am not stuck at all. I don't need to dream up some fantasy future world where I could do/have/be what I want. I need to be thankful for what I can do/have/am right now. I find that what stops me from the do/have/be is me. I am literally getting in the way of myself! This realization hit me hard. I have so much to be thankful for and all I can do is think of the stuff I don't have and when I will be able to attain it. Frankly, I am embarrased to even admit that! But now that I have, I slapped myself in the face and told myself to "get a grip, lady." If I want to do/have/be I just need to do/have/be. I am laying my "stuck" attitude to rest. It is the mantra of cowards and of those that take the role of the victim. I refuse to be either of those. I had a life lesson today. I learned that I need to slow down, talk myself out of the panic, and be thankful for the life I am in at the moment. All of these thoughts stemmed from that evil T.J. Maxx coat. I guess maybe it wasn't so evil afterall. Viva la vida, baby!
I can't have a blog with no pictures. So here are a few moments in life when I felt stuck (but looking back I miss these times)...
Thought at the time: next year this won't be so difficult. Fact: Next year's picture was a wreck, too :)
see?
Thought at the time: They won't make such a mess when they get older. Fact: They tend to make bigger messes now because their brains are bigger.
See? Last year, Lily managed to open every. single. Christmas present. And then hide the evidence behind the chair.
Thought at the time: Life will get easier when I get out of school and we get married. Fact: Some things got easier and some things got harder. That's life.
Thanks for taking the time to read this super sized blog. And thanks for reading any of my blogs for that matter. If I can entertain just one person, than it is worth it! :)
"Enjoy the little things in life for someday you will look back and realize they were the big things."
